And how not to?

I don't remember when did I start being the person who killed me.
I don't remember when did I start hating myself as much as I do now.
When did I stop living? When did I stop loving?
I don't remember what broke me into so many pieces that I can't put all of them back together.
For what broke must have been more than just a human. More than just a moment.
More than just something that happens. Because no, shit does not just happen.
We make that shit happen. When did I decide that it was okay to be in pain?
When did crying become the normal thing to do once a week, once a day, multiple times everyday?
How is that nobody hears me? How is that nobody knows? How is that I am good in everyone's eyes?
How is that I die a little more each day that goes by?
There is litterally not me anymore. I am not me anymore.
They swear to God they love you, they will be there for you yet they leave you worse than before.
When did I become someone people needed to avoid?
When did I get ruined? What ruined me like this?
When did I stop needing help?
Since when is it okay to see someone in pain?
Since when is it okay to see this world in pain?
Since when children die in a regular basis? Since when people call killing "peace"?
But "everything will be okay. You will get over it. Shit happens."
And then you keep on living as if everything was just right because you have no time to dedicate some more words to someone who could possibly need you. You can't.You probably need to go and make some money.
When did humanity became just giving money to a few children in some third world country so you can feel better with yourself, tell everyone on facebook so they can tell what a generous and compassionate person you are?
And you who believe in God, what made you think what you had to do is going to church on Mondays instead of helping the one who is struggling by your side?
When did you decide that it was your job to judge people instead of your God's job?
What made you think you are better just for dressing up modestly? What make you think two people of the same gender can't love each other? Who told you that? Where is that written?
Now go and sit down in that sofa, turn the TV on, watch the news, look at those people dying and put them in your prayers, find someone else to blame. Discuss it with some friends so you can talk about something relevant. Then go to sleep in that cozy and lovely bed you have.
FUCK OFF.
FUCK OFF.
FUCK OFF.